In the dark

I had a very long unfruitful holiday. It was nice though, for how often can one sits around all day not bothered by the slightest shred of stress?

But yesterday seems like a punishment for my past lazy week. And even though misery craves isolation, today I decided to drag myself out of bed in the morning and go to lab. Companionship might cheer me up.

I realized (not for the first time) that life beyond schooling is not my strongest suit. Not even my strong suit. Do i suck so much at work or just research in particular? I don't have the vaguest idea of what the future holds for me, and i'm worried. Confused. Desperate. It's not a straightforward path from primary to secondary to jc to college anymore. It's a crooked path I do not know how to draw, let alone walk it.

I have options, none of which is smooth sailing, some may even end up disastrous for me and my family.

Only if there is a way for something, or someone, to show me the light at the end of my tunnel.