Wallowing

Today i realized i haven't felt good for a long time. Very long indeed, maybe two or three months. I haven't been feeling safe or happy or content or confident; shopping and watching tv are distractions rather than cure. The best i've had is something like a surge of adrenalin after dance or after an experiment gone ok, which quickly wanes off in matter of hours.

I also indulge in a lot of self pity (read above paragraph for evidence). It's amazing how self pity feeds on itself until it's enough to flood my mind and bore any conversation to death.

So i decide to declare war on self doubt, fear, envy, ... all the bad feelings i've harboured. I shall only concentrate on the good stuff of my life, the stuff that soothes me, like my mom, yf, my improving workplace relationships. And i shall always remind myself that no matter how bad my day has been, there surely is someone who had a worse day. You see, it's only a matter of perspective.

Easier said than done.