When it comes to love, some people are just luckier than others.

But well you can actually say that about anything: work, looks, money, ... you name it.

Perspective

Just when I'm stressed and depressed and worried about my personal issues, certain things always crop up to change my perspective.

Earlier this year, I remember coming home crying over my screwed up mcat. Then I heard on the news about the massacre at Virginia Tech, and realised how trivial my problem was.

Yesterday Can Tho bridge, the largest upcoming construction in Vietnam, fell down, killing 50 workers and leaving hundreds more severely injured. And so again, amidst all my personal worries, I'm forced to change my perspective.

Talking about perspective, yf told me just a moment ago that my dislike is just a matter of perspective, and that one may appear nice to some, but absolutely unpleasant to others. Maybe he's right.

Some people just don't have any sense of personal boundaries, nor bother to comply to basic courtesies. Seriously, who the hell does he think he is?

The heat

Suddenly I find myself with so much work to do again. All sorts of work: study, app, lab, visa, calling up ppl for enquiries, ... All sorts of crap!

The heat the rising, quite literally. And I'm a terrible multi-tasker, can't seem to get anything done when i have too much in mind.

Arrgghhh, i want a public holiday.

I just had the most boring weekend ever!

Soul-searching

I hate it. I absolutely abhor the act of digging inside my own mind and trying to draw out something meaningful, motivational or touching. It is one thing to think about an impersonal story, it's another when that story is mine, and it's alive and vivid and kicking my brain.

That's why everytime after i brainstorm for an essay, i always feel exhausted, then i would sit there and stone for a long time...

hmmm... what should i do next? maybe i'll eat some snack. maybe i should go over to john's lab for a free donut. yummm...

how i wish eating could cure my problems!

Student forever

So here i am studying again. Fortunately, unlike memorising thousands of oscure words, reading bio texts is actually not that boring. In fact, i find ecology and evolution quite fascinating. It was a pity they never went into great details about these topics in school.

Although i don't like to study, i have to admit it's probably what i do best. When in school, i had constant guidance, gratification, and holidays to look forward to. On the other hand, my work is stagnant, and judging from the way i've been trying to fit in here, i'm guessing my EQ is average at best. I wish i could be in school forever. Then I would always learn new things, you know, stuff like anthropology, design, quantum physics, astronomy... things i always wanted to learn but never had the chance.

I know that lab work can be interesting, sometimes it even gives me the temporary high. But how come i'm still so bad at it?

I remember reading somewhere the quotation "Publish or perish!". How horrifying but true.

And with that note im gonna scuttle back to the lab and give my cells a quick shake.

Sleep

It never ceases to amaze me how much i can sleep. Last weekend i think i did a whopping total of 20 hours (or more) in two days.

I (heart) sleeping, especially because i dream very often, and theyre always very interesting dreams. Last night for example, i dreamt about a thrilling adventure which involved swimming pool, mountain climbing, and fights against a nemesis with the face of Lord Voldemort. ha!

Only thing i hate about sleeping is: the guilt i feel afterwards for not having done any work. Otherwise known as the monday blues.

Reading Nature

After ploughing through pages and pages of application instructions, browsing journal articles surprisingly makes a good change.

Today, I actually found myself enjoy reading Nature medicine journals. I don't know whether this nerdy streak should be a cause for celebration or alarm. But anyhow, it sure came late. Three years late, in fact. I was supposed to be engrossed by science and nature articles since jc time, was i not? hahaha

So i've been poking around some articles published by Goodell et al. Her signature 1996 paper, describing a method to isolate stem cell subpopulation in HSCs, was among the first ones I read at the start of my attachment. Her protocol has been adopted by many others (including my humble self) to obtain and characterise subpopulations. Goodell's lab apparently was in Harvard Medical School last time, but now has transferred to Baylor. What a pity. Houston, Texas is not my ideal grad school environment.

By the way, i love reading the "Spoonful of medicine" blog. Though its not so frequently updated (only about 8-10 posts/month), its reflections on current med news are quite brilliant.

An okay day

Good days don't come easy. Recently i've been through a fair number of bad days; so when a relatively good one came along, i thought i should make a record of it.

I woke up early to look for my passport at the photocopy place nearby. As it turned out, the poor auntie was so worried when she saw my passport left behind that she reported to NUS security, who immediately came at 8pm to pick it up. So today i skipped lunch to rescue my precious green book from Yusof Ishak house. Phew... that was kinda scary.

My experiment went ok. I got what i expected, which trust me, doesn't happen quite often. What's more, my relationship with the boss showed signs of amelioration.

So what makes today an okay and not a good day? The fact that yf flew away and my dreaded three-month wait has started.

On a separate note, I'm wondering whether i should rebond my hair. It sounds like such a vain and trivial subject, but the truth is i've been contemplating the idea for almost a week. I don't want to look like thousands of sg girls out there whose hairs are of identical length, texture and color. On the other hand, the thought of having a smooth silky mane does appeal to me. Maybe i'll just settle for a deep conditioning treatment... i'll see.

Splash

Last week my agar melted into nothing before my boss' eyes. today he walked in on me using a non-operative culture hood. never ending embarrassments... maybe tmr ill get caught with my pants down.

I'm a klutz.

Splashing things is probably what i do best. That and wondering why i'm here working in a lab.

On a lighter note, i finally got a load off my chest today. And by load i mean a big Fedex envelope, oh, and a big amount of money as well. Broke, but contented. I will sleep well at night, at least till end of the week...

Hopefully with fewer distractions, there'll be fewer splashing.

Come back

I had thought that my feelings, those frustrating/comtemplative ones in particular, have run dry. I thought that I'd be happy and carefree from last year on. But life always has a way to get my back. It always gives me new things to worry about.

What to say... don't have any choice, do i? i already tend to worry too much about all the small (and sometimes wrong) things, without the need for any more complications. But then maybe its a good thing, maybe a little stress a day keeps... idleness at bay.

So i'm blogging again. There wont be much postings, cos the days arent getting any longer, but the workload is just piling up by the hours. But i'll now have a window to vent my thoughts, and sometimes that may be a life-saver.